Adulting is hard. Some days its all I can to to stay awake then others I can’t seem to sleep for the life of me. The one that gets me is that my body seems to want to either ache, rebel against whatever food I put in it or just expand in places I don’t want. This whole “ultra late twenties” thing is bullshit. I shouldn’t complain too much though, the kids are healthy, the bills are paid and in less than a month I get to have on of the few firsts I have been missing in my life, first wedding. Only wedding…ONLY WEDDING! Sorry dear, love you.
If there wasn’t enough to do in the day already now I have to worry about my biggest fear popping up hours before I am set to take centre stage next to a wonderful woman, pants that don’t fit. Maybe ‘biggest fear’ is an exaggeration but it is definitely on the top half of the list. I went out and got the fancy clothes and they fit, now I have to keep it that way, if my body decides to expand a bit and I can’t fit in to them I may have to wear my Muppet pajama bottoms instead, which will surprise no one and leave me at the bottom of the river. So what is a poor boy to do, I mean it these events aren’t cheap. Hit the gym right? Wrong, too much to do, a full time job and four kids. Thankfully I have a plan.
Last month a friend of mine was running a 30 day exercise challenge as part of her home based business. My fiancee signed up and to support and encourage her I did to. Squats and planks for 30 days. Squats suck and I walked like a sat down hard on a cactus for a week. The planks got excruciating after the two minute mark was passed. I did get results though. I did not transform into any sort of pinnacle of fitness but after 30 days I did notice a few things beyond the sound my knee makes when it straitens up. So now I have kept on with the next 30 day challenge, push ups and crunches. These ar a little more to my strength and in 10 days when I check my pants for results (I think I misplaced a a joke somewhere) I may have to up my game, we’ll see. I am going to have to check because I have to know and knowing is half the battle (G!I! Jooooooooe!)
The other half is intake. As an adult in my “ultra late twenties” I have to accept the fact that my metabolism is not going to be super co-operative in this endeavour. FML right? I am going to have to pay attention to my intake. Portion control, junk food reduction, over snacking all those things but the one I am most concerned about is having to cut out my beloved craft beer. I am ‘that guy’ I love to try different beers and unfortunately many of them are heavy and not going to do me any favours in the next few weeks. Don’t flip out boys the bachelor party plans are intact but I am going to have to cut down my intake and stick to a lighter fare when I do crave a frosty beverage. The exercise doesn’t bother me but watching my diet is always a problem for me add in the start of BBQ and bon fire season and this is gonna suck, sadly you can’t out train a shitty diet and I just don’t have the time to try. I don’t need 3% body fat or six pack abs, I just need my pants to fit.